Thursday, December 5, 2013


November was a great month. It felt more "normal" than any month we have had since Ezra was born. He seemed happier and healthier than he has EVER been. He went almost the entire month without puking. He was off chemo meds. He was off his stomach emptying and reflux meds. He was off the continuous overnight tube feed. He went from being able to nurse for five minutes at time to upwards of 20 or 30 minutes at a time. He gained almost a whole pound. He started sleeping at night for more than a single hour stretch. He had only one visit to the lab here in Corvallis and no trips to Portland or Springfield. And he got to be at home for the holiday.

When I wasn't focusing on cooking my first full-on (and dairy-free!) Thanksgiving dinner, I was running through a list in my mind of all I had to be thankful for this year. At the top of that list was the fact that we were all home. Together. I thought of the families who weren't as fortunate, with children with bald heads, pale faces, tubes and wires, stuck in gloomy hospital rooms with even gloomier prognoses. That could have been us...but it wasn't. And by the time family had left and the kids were tucked into bed that night, I just broke down and cried...tears of thanksgiving. I don't think that I have ever known such a deep and overwhelming feeling of thanksgiving as I did in that very moment. Thanksgiving for health and for life and for answered prayers for our sweet Ezra. Thanksgiving that I have gotten to be home with BOTH my boys instead of with one at the hospital and away from the other. Thanksgiving for my husband, my partner, my rock. Thanksgiving for family members who have gone above and beyond. Thanksgiving for people, some we don't even know, who have made this burden just a little bit lighter. Thanksgiving for a faith that has been rooted in such a firm foundation, it does not waiver, even in times of insurmountable grief and worry.

It's hard to transition from all of that to say that even though we were back up at Doernbecher's this week, and lab results were not so good, and another round of oral chemo is quite likely on the horizon, we still have so much to be thankful for.

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances..."
I Thessalonians 5:16-18

Thank you for continuing to pray for Ezra and our family. We are thankful for you.


phrase that stays said...

I pray for baby E and your family each and every day. Prayer is powerful. Thanks for sharing part of your story w/ us.

Anonymous said...

I'm reading your update with tears streaming down my face. SO happy for your sweet family and thankful that you had such a lovely Thanksgiving....perfect timing with so much to be thankful for. I have friends/family who have continued to pray for Ezra as well as continued strength for everyone around you. We will continue to pray and keep you all close to our hearts. Annette (Crays) Waterman